7 Habits of Highly Effective Loosers

1. Brusing you teeth no more than once a week except for the 3 days before your appointment at which point you brush, floss, and mouth wash 4 times a day.

2. Blasting hip-hop out the "woofers" in your woodgrain station wagon as you drive/ roll through the busting metropolis of Onadola Wisconsin ( or any other town whose population is smaller than a NYC public highschool).

3. Checking your weblog six times a day and updating it three with content as deep as an ant hill after its been stepped on. i.e. any thing with lol, omg, yay! or, my personaly favorite wthwit (which is not the licence plate way to spell "with wit", rather it stands for what the heck was I thinking).

4. Getting your insigt and wisdom from me.

5. Wearing out the first few chapters of John in your Bible because you've had to start your devotions over so many times.

6. Being able to quote more than 4 lines of Napolean Dynamite (heck yes I did)

7. Wearing dress shoes with white sox and (emphatically) kahki shorts.

This is all you need for being a complete and total looser. Try to impress your friends as you aquire these skills of lameness. Just follow the 7 easy steps and you to will enjoy a sad exhistance. The opposite sex will reject you, Elders wont trust you, and your own Mother, (if she can get you out of her basement and away from your garfield dvd collection) might even dissown you, but atleast youll be what you have always aspired to be, a bonified looser. Congratulations!