Tag "Jew" are it!

The game of internet tag has reached the outer depths of the web and into "My Life". Now I am abliged to give you 5 facinating facts about myself.

1. I just said to lori yesterday "I wish someone would tag me, It would be fun." unknowingly Abbi had tagged me 2 days ago.

2. I have three middle names, Jason Alan Churchill Thorburne Morris is my full name.

3. Over the last 10 years I have worked in a candy store, a gift shop, grounds keeping, house keeping, Wizard costume (at a theme park), Karbon Jacket (snow board instructor), as a dishwasher, kook, waiter, coffe maker, worship leader, meat slicer, design consultant, gelato salesman, and a cateror.

4. I watched my shcools softball team break the world record for the longest continuous softball game, on friday night.

5. Since sept of last year I have collected over 200 phone numbers, since I started school this semester I have collected 63. Of course my old phone had a heart attack and I lost 120 of those #'s.

Nicole Julia Josh Carina Wesley

j.

Elementary Math Skills No Longer Required To Teach.

13 F's
4 D's
3 C's
3 B's
1 A

That was the test range in my college algebra class yesterday. My teacher said, "This class overall did better than my other classes, more of you passed than failed." 11 people pass and 13 people fail, but in his brilliant calculation more passed than failed; and we did better than the other class? Apparently in algebra 11 is greater than 13. Genius, pure genius. Oh and he cant grade on a curve because somehow it would, "hurt the scores of those who got an A. Im not sure how it would hurt a 95 by giving him 20 extra points but heaven forbid the one A become an A+ . Tectonic plates might shift and Y might no longer = mx+b, ahhhhh!

j.

Sup_r H_ro_s of Th_ Faith

"I'd like to solve the Puzzle!"...

Let me explain the Wheel of Fortune illusion. I was watching tv the other day (while on break) and WOF was on. The Catagory "before & after" the clue "place" the board looked like this
N_W YORK STAT_
OF MIND
The contestant then asks to buy a vowel.


"superheroes of the faith"?
I am not talking about Bible Man or Larry Boy, I am talking about you and I.
I am talking about faith. You know that mountain moving, water walking, raise people from the dead so you can get through the day, faith.

When was the last time you tried to "move a mountain"? In occult circles supernatural phenomina is far from a rare occorance. All sorts of "neat" hocus pocus can be seen. Walking on walls, levitation, telkenesis, (moving of objects with the mind) and more. Why is it the "dark side" is so demonstrative with its power and yet we practice meekness? Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. How much greater should our power be? Do we not have dominion and authority? Jesus cursed a fig tree and it died for aparantly no reason, he took an evening stroll on the lake and then he says greater things than I will you do. What's stopping us?

1. burn out
when you try to find fulfillment in ministry instead of Him you wear yourself out. If ministry is wearing you out, you are not spending enough time alone with him. Jesus had one the most incomprehensible ministry schedules and yet how often to we se him alone with the father. Early in the morning, mid afternoon, late at night it didn't matter Jesus knew when it was time to step back and refocus.

2. "Fear of man"
fear of man is selfishness with a fancy name. It just means I care more about what people think aobut me than I do about the testimony of Christ. Really what we need is a frim grasp on who we actually are, where our true identity lies. We are children of THE KING. HELLLO!!!! does anyone get that? Sons and daughters of the Creator and Ruler of the Universe. Pause and ponder for just a moment. That's huge do you realize the authority we have on both heaven and earth just because of who HE is?

3. Depression
If you are depressed you have already spent to much time thinking aobut yourself. Where did the joy of the Lord go? It has left because our joy was based on our experience and feeling. God is God reguardless of circumstances. He is worthy of our praise simply because. The Joy of the Lord is our strength. Why is he joyful? Because we are his children. He rejoices simply because we are His. It is this joy which we find our strenght in. No matter how we feel we can be assured he is rejoicing over us just because. We don't need to perform or earn it, that's what makes it unconditional.

We have royal authority, unconditional love, and a God who is always available for conversation and can't wait to spend time with us. So trials come and go, and "life isn't easy" so what. Let's have a little confidence here. Is our God bigger than all extenuating circumstances? Ok then. What about pain and suffering? Jesus was still talking to God on the cross. He is always there.

Love God, Be Strong, Have Faith.
j.

MY PSALM

Bless the Lord O my soul.
Stir yourself, rejoice and be glad,
For God almighty is greater than circumstances and emotions.

Bless the Lord O my soul.
Stir yourself, rejoice and be glad,
For the father finds joy in his children and through this joy we are strong.

Bless the Lord O my soul.
Stir yourself, rejoice and be glad,
For God will never leave or forsake rather, His love endures forever.

Bless the Lord O my soul.
Stir yourself, rejoice and be glad,
For He does not send trials out of spite; chastening is for those whom the He loves.

Bless the Lord O my soul.
Stir yourself, rejoice and be glad,
For The Mercies of the Lord are new every morning, not in respect of yesterday’s pain.

Bless the Lord O my soul.
Stir yourself, rejoice and be glad,
For God so loved the world he sent his only son to die as a sacrifice.

Bless the Lord O my soul.
Stir yourself, rejoice and be glad,
For He is worthy, if only because of His position as creator and life giver.


I don’t feel like worshiping you but I will
My praise is not out of an abundance of joy
These hands are raised out of obedience
I lift my voice out of respect

O that my joy may be filled
Spirit move in me
Bless the Lord O my soul!
Stir yourself, rejoice and be glad.

The Importance of Being Eldest.

a world of grown up big kids;

Dizziness is setting in as the tire swing continues in concentric revolutions. A smile and crossed eyes tell a story of uncomfortable pleasure. It is like butterflies but more intense, it is like nausia but not so severe. These jouvenile actions stirr a sense of nostalgia; a whisper of innosence and nievity.

With each season that comes there is a longing for the next and pineing the previous. Children can't wait to be "big kids" the "big kids" wan't to be teanagers, teans college students, college students career, career maried, couples want children, and then want children gone, as they look to retirement. Suddenly the "sun set" years set in and a wish to be young again if only for a day crosses the mind. It seems a humorously viscous circle of the grass is greener sort.

An insincere solution mixed with spiritual gaph (oral garbage) could be offered, but won't for fear of ruining a perfectly good postulation. The intention of this piece is only to prod the mind and to encourage some intelectual stimulation. What is the source of this endemic insecurity and age driven disscontent? Is life so miserable that only the hope of something new makes continuiance worth the effort? Is there an inherantly progressive spirity in man which causes him to always look forward? What is it?

Dizziness has ceased, the swing has stopped spinning and time requires a return to the world of grown up "Big Kids". The park will soon be filled with inhabitants of a more suitable nature, little ones who wont hit their head on the monkeybars don't bow the teter totter. They will dream great immaginative dreams and pretend to be grown up, playing house or school. A game they will be playing much longer than they ever intended. Time requires a return the world of grown up "Big Kids", but maybe just one more trip down the slide, for old times sake.

j.

Humpty Dumb-t ?

Humpty Dumbty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumbty had a great fall

All the kings horses and all the kings men
Couldent put humpty dumpty together again

It is generally accepted that humpty was some sort of egg like creature. My first question is what was an egg doing on the wall? My second question is why were horses trying to together an egg? No one thought to call the plastic sergon, no lets get knights and horses to put together the fat egg man. How about,
"all the kings doctors and all their RN's couldent put him together again"
Those big horse hooves probably did more damage than good. Its to bad humpty wasn't hard boiled, but they atleast could have made a humpty omlet. I hear horses are great at making omlets. Oh, I'm sorry no their not, there horses! They eat hay and say nay and run in fields all day.

Some things in life are a mystery, nursery rymes shoulden't be one of them.

j.

7 Habits of Highly Effective Loosers

1. Brusing you teeth no more than once a week except for the 3 days before your appointment at which point you brush, floss, and mouth wash 4 times a day.

2. Blasting hip-hop out the "woofers" in your woodgrain station wagon as you drive/ roll through the busting metropolis of Onadola Wisconsin ( or any other town whose population is smaller than a NYC public highschool).

3. Checking your weblog six times a day and updating it three with content as deep as an ant hill after its been stepped on. i.e. any thing with lol, omg, yay! or, my personaly favorite wthwit (which is not the licence plate way to spell "with wit", rather it stands for what the heck was I thinking).

4. Getting your insigt and wisdom from me.

5. Wearing out the first few chapters of John in your Bible because you've had to start your devotions over so many times.

6. Being able to quote more than 4 lines of Napolean Dynamite (heck yes I did)

7. Wearing dress shoes with white sox and (emphatically) kahki shorts.

This is all you need for being a complete and total looser. Try to impress your friends as you aquire these skills of lameness. Just follow the 7 easy steps and you to will enjoy a sad exhistance. The opposite sex will reject you, Elders wont trust you, and your own Mother, (if she can get you out of her basement and away from your garfield dvd collection) might even dissown you, but atleast youll be what you have always aspired to be, a bonified looser. Congratulations!

In-sanitary logic

The other day I visited the local Wal*Mart while waiting in the return line with some friends I suddenly had the urge to "explore the facilities" (which I blame on the turkey and gravey the cafeteria served up). This restroom was pretty high tech. The toliet flushes by itself, the paper towels automatically dispense, even the soap and water are hands free. Thousands of dollars invested so that you and I can feel sanitary when we leave and continue our shopping experience. Here is the thing that gets me though. YOU STILL HAVE TO OPEN THE DOOR! Hello, if one person decides that "hands free" means no hands, (i.e. they dont actually wash their hands) the whole process was in vein. The auto flush, the electric hand dryer, even that little tissue paper seat cover that fell in when you tried to set it down, all a waste of time because some grimey fingered bozo decided he was a lye-0-phobiac. So now the handle to the door (which for some reason opens in, heaven forbid we be able to push it open with our hips or legs or something) is covered in redneck trucker greese.

So really what was the point of all the sanitary gymnastics? Either make the door open out or put in an elec. door. Or you can just except the fact that your shopping at wal*mart your probably related to greesy george anyway so it's not that big of a deal.